The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
