Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
