Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize