I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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