So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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