Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
