I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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