"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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