im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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