I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
