I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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