how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
