Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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