Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
