i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
