Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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