dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
