My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize