Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
my poor anus
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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