Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
