Where did you get a picture of my penis
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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