You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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