i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
