There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
