after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
