soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
A+ Viking dick
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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