I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When are your genitals available?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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