Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize