I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
