Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
