Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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