he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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