"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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