I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
