How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i will never coherently bang her
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
