I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize