weddingsv make me drug and hornr
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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