I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize