she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize