I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
