I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
