Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
