is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
