FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
