She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize