the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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