SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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