Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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