sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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