We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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