How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
