I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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