I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
