im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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