I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
