Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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