Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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