yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
