Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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