i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
